The Biggest Obstacle is Yourself
January 20, 2018
I am not a procrastinator. I'm really not. Somehow, though, writing this book is the bane of my existence.
I've been writing a book since, well, the 6th grade. Kind of.
It all started at the back of the bus, with a friend named Olivia, a piece of paper, a crazy imagination, and the belief that we could achieve anything.
There was a boy. His name was Dimitry.
There was a girl. Her name was Nicole.
And so, our story was born.
Before you get any ideas, it was supposed to be a science-fiction book with spies and family drama, not a romance.
And then, Olivia moved to Texas and I never heard from her again. All she left me was a piece of paper, a crazy imagination, and the belief that maybe I couldn't achieve everything.
So the paper sat, completely ignored for years. No, not quite ignored. It was always in my head. Dimitry was always there, his story being played out. But that was the problem, wasn't it? It was always in my head, and it never quite got on to paper.
Dimitry's only physical story is still that paper from the back of the bus in sixth grade. And that's always going to be Dimitry's only story, because now, I'm tired of him. I'm tired of a teenage boy who discovers something huge about himself, who ends up falling in love with his best friend. I'm over it. So, here's the entirety of Dimitry and Nicole's story.
Yeah, that's their story. That's it.
You may be wondering, "Wait, if you gave up on this book...why are you doing a writing blog?"
Well, insightful reader, the answer is... I fell in love.
With the villain of Dimitry's story.
You see, there was a man. His name was Acheron.
And so, my story was born.
When I say, "I fell in love", I don't mean romantically (though all the symptoms were there. The heart racing, the blood pumping, the rush of thinking about him and his story, it was all there). I mean that I was completely enraptured by his character. The anti-hero story is one I'll never get tired of. I just knew it in my heart that I had to write about him, at least just a little bit. So I did.
Acheron Ratatosk is 22-years-old and he is the anti-hero of this story. He completely inspired me to write, something Dimitry could never do. I could see everything about him clearly, his attitude, mannerisms, and viewpoints on issues. Everything about Dimitry was a trope. Acheron is my character, who is completely unique.
I think the reason I held off on writing any story was because of my lack of inspiration with Dimitry. There was no new story to tell. It was all black and white.
Acheron's story is about exploring the gray.
I switched the book's focus to Acheron a couple years ago. But still, I've barely written anything. If he's so inspirational, why haven't I been writing?
Because I'm incredibly insecure. No matter how many people tell me I write well, I will never believe in it myself. I'm not quite sure why.
That's part of the reason why I'm doing this. Having this as my senior capstone will force me to finally finish the project I've been envisioning for years. At the end, I hope to prove to myself that I'm capable. Throughout this journey, I want to document my progress and talk about how I feel throughout the process. Hopefully, Acheron and I can make it to the other side.
Here's hoping!